Your soul needs to hear this: Your body, personality, spirit, and life was created exactly how it was intended to be. It was designed to function and it was not intended to be like anyone else’s.
I don’t think that when God formed Adam, he thought twice about insecurities. What he may have though was, “This being can do so much more than any of my other creations. It is so intelligent. This is my most amazing piece of work.” He designed our bodies to face forward and move forward. The only thing happening in the back is our least attractive function of them all!! But think about that- we have all of these amazing senses and processes and organs and feelings that help us survive comfortably. It truly is a miracle!
The sad thing is that we look in the mirror, at this incredible creation, and think, “I wish I looked like _________.” Your blank space may be “I did 10 years ago.” “before I gave birth to four kids.” “the supermodel on a magazine.” Guess what? It’s normal to feel that way and want to control things that maybe we can or we can’t but let’s start to accept what we have! Many of us have our health. Many of us have full ability to function. Many of us have put our bodies through the ringer but it repays us by constantly adapting.
I spent 19 years battling anorexia. I’ll get deeper into that another day but let me tell you- I’ve put my body through some things. Honestly, it’s a miracle I’m still on this earth. During treatment, a huge part of our healing and coping work was body image. Prior to this, my ideal image of a female body included washboard abs, no cellulite, and probably 10% body fat. People who look like that in a magazine or on social media did special prep work for those photos, they don‘t always look that way. I have since started to reevaluate what I thought was beautiful. A woman’s body, who creates a human being or MULTIPLE human beings, whether it comes out of that with scars or dimples... THAT is gorgeous. Maybe she is softer than before but why would that be? So her precious baby can snuggle and nap comfortably in her arms?
See, what we need to do is look at these “flaws” from a function perspective. Body hair. Skin tone. Size. These things have so much to do with our heritage and our ancestors’ bodies developed that way to adapt to their environments. We just happen to live in a region of so many cultures and backgrounds that the grass always looks greener to us!
My point: QUIT THE COMPARISON. Worry about yourself only. Worry about today only and not what your body was in the past. Try to be healthy and focus on longevity and ability. Don’t stress any numbers- weight, calories, size. None of that crap matters. Your body is smart. It knows how to handle a slice of pizza or a salad or a candy bar. It keeps what it needs and distributes it accordingly. Trust your body and take care of it. Eat a variety of things- don’t get into a routine. Eat and exercise in moderation. Keep everything balanced. Nature will handle the rest.
If you find yourself criticizing a feature, cut that off and say 5 things that are good. If you can’t find 5 beautiful things outside, say 5 good things in general about yourself. 1 negative comment cuts deeper than 5 compliments so if you want to change your perspective, start by looking for the good.
One last thing- you are the example to those around you, especially children. I’ll do a post another day about this but this is so urgent to me that I need you to soak it up now. If someone compliments you, just say, “Thank you.” Try not to downplay whatever they liked! Don’t make comments about anyone else’s body in any capacity. Don’t compliment bodies. Don’t shame bodies. Don’t compare bodies. Just ignore other bodies completely and focus on personalities, deeds, etc. And definitely don’t make negative comments about your body in front of kids. They will start to see their bodies as flawed or begin comparing and that’s just spreading the culture to the next generation.
You are amazing. You have done amazing things, survived amazing circumstances, gone to amazing places. Be proud of who you are. You are perfectly you and those who love you, love you way deeper than what you look like. They accept you well beyond a certain size range. You deserve to accept yourself and someday love yourself!